Ever have those days where you don’t feel like doing anything productive? Where you physically and mentally feel like you can’t do anything productive?
That was me on Monday. And despite what I know about the cyclical nature of emotions and creativity, I still got really frustrated with myself for not getting more done. By the late afternoon, I surrendered and decided to just enjoy the rest of the evening, see friends, and not do “work” that day.
On Tuesday, I woke up at 3:30am and couldn’t relax. I’m normally a sound sleeper, so it seemed strange. I checked in with my heart and felt a mix of fear/paranoia and... excitement. I did some writing to reflect on the previous day, feeling somewhat stuck and unproductive in my work day, but excited and giddy in other places.
When meditation and willing myself back to sleep didn’t work, I thought, “why don’t you move your body, Jess.”
If my heart was nervous and anxious maybe moving it through my body would be helpful.
I put on Jason Derulo’s latest hit “Want to Want Me” (obsessed!) and boogied around until I had an idea...
I started piecing together all of my 15 second Instagram dance videos since March and strung them together to make a piece of choreography. (So freeing and healing to do this since the last few months have been a huge rough transition.)
And then ideas for my new dance program came through loud and clear, and I wrote out the plan for it.
I did more between the hours of 4am and 8am than I had done the entire previous day.
It was a good reminder that if I try to force my creative flow, it feels off and doesn't accomplish much. And really, I don’t have control of the timing of things.
So if you’re out there feeling stuck, blocked, or lazy, don't force anything. Go with the flow of your body and stay open to magic.
Be lazy and hazy if you need to.
Trust that it will flow again.
Not being “productive” is probably just your subconscious saving energy for the next great thing.
to not trying so hard,
p.s. Here's some video footage from my dance rehearsal in the park at 7am that Tuesday morning!