the mess continues.

i woke up feeling like shit.

My period was due any day and the amount of hormones surging through my system could have powered a Hummer limousine. Instead, it felt like the Hummer limousine had run over me.

There were all of these things I needed to do. Errands to run. Deadlines to meet. A sick mother to attend to. Bills to sort through. But all the hormones (and emotions) weighed me down. And so I stayed in bed, rebelling the idea of doing ANYTHING.

well, i did do something

As a joke, I recorded a quick video and sent it to Sasha V. It went a little something like this: “Do you feel like a hot mess, too? Well you might just qualify for my new dance class called... Hot Mess. Dance with Jess.”

(I was going to post the video to my Instagram but Sasha said I looked homeless. I still might post it though... Sorry, Sasha!)

and then the lightbulb switched on (or maybe it was the hummer’s headlights as it ran me over)...

With everything going on in the world, I couldn't be the only one out here feeling a mess (of some sort). So I created that dance class I joked about: Hot Mess with Jess. The class will run for 6 weeks starting this Tuesday.

And because my personal hot mess might as well serve a bigger purpose, I’ll be donating a portion of the proceeds from this class to hurricane relief. This way, dance can help support our global hot mess too.

so if you're in nyc, come as you are (hot mess and all)and let's dance through it together.

By the way… I'm happy to report that I got my period (TMI? #sorrynotsorry) and feel MUCH better now. But the mess? The mess continues. It’s part of life. And what I’m learning is that the mess can be (and might be the only) fuel for creation.

As the artist and creator of Morning Altars, Day Schildkret, put it in his enlightening article on messiness:

“...perhaps this is actually the unwelcome purpose of the mess: To rupture the normal, neat and organized and somehow remind you that life is so much bigger and messier than what you thought it was or planned it to be. The mess is requiring us all to respond to it by slowing down, letting go and mustering the courage to allow the mess to have a place in our lives…. The mess interrupts the incessant, unconscious and self-directed taking, controlling, consuming and, if we can somehow permit it, it offers us the uncomfortable yet necessary reminder that our life must feed that which feeds us. And when we can remember that, then the mess ceases to be the unwanted thing to fix and becomes the life-giving food once again.”

[I highly recommend reading the article in its entirety. Thank you Matthew Stillman, for introducing me to it.]

may we let go, let dance, and let the mess fuel us into more creativity and more life than ever before.

dancing through it,
Messy Jessie

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