i failed the 30-day meditation challenge

1 week into the #danceinmay2019 challenge, I popped on video to ask the group of participants to ask themselves:

who are you doing this for?

And of course I was asking myself the same question. So many times in the past I’ve participated in 30-day meditation challenges or the like, only to find myself petering out after a few days. Afterwards, I’d judge myself harshly as being lazy and noncommittal.

Read More

let’s hear it for the negative

  • To the negative reviews and comments: for teaching me that not everyone will always like and approve of me or my words, and that’s ok, and I’m still ok.

  • To the negative bank account: for giving me the opportunity to realize that I’ll still exist and I still have value regardless of what the numbers say.

  • To the negative mood: for reminding me that boundaries are important and alone time can be medicine.

Read More

is dance technique overrated?

“Spell your name in a dance, across the floor.”

They gave us this prompt at the audition for Oakland Ballet and I nearly froze in fear.

Improvise?! Perform something random that I create, that is not following exact choreography?! Nooooooo!!

That was 19-year-old me, and oh man was I stuck in the technical pursuit of perfection, without any sense of creative expression or me and my own voice.

Read More