how to not feel guilty

“Sometimes it’s necessary to discover ourselves before we are able to see the rest of the world undistorted.”

- David S. Viscott, M.D., author of Feel Free

I got this book for $2 at a random stoop sale years ago. I liked the retro vibe of it and the phrase “Feel Free” felt like something I needed to see more of.

But it was one of those that sat on my bookshelf for years without being opened….

...Until a few weeks ago.

I noticed the subtitle: “How to Do Everything You Want Without Feeling Guilty.”

Boom. Was this book reading my mind?

If you’re reading this blog, chances are it might be reading your mind, too.

If you are a creative type, at some point in your life you’ve probably felt guilt for pursuing something you wanted to do.

Cue the whispering voices in your head:

Are you really going to spend your time painting when there are children starving in Africa?

Your parents worked so hard to make a decent living in this country, and so you better not go to art school and throw it all away!

You shouldn’t move to Hollywood because too many people rely on you in your hometown. And plus, it’s really hard to make it out there.

Layer. On. The. Guilt.

Sometimes guilt is internally created, sometimes it’s projected from people around us.

Guilt is a deep and twisted subject matter, and I’m not trying to solve it all right here in this blog post, but I am encouraging you to think about the places in your life where guilt is lurking and start to untangle it.

Because it’s one of those things that’s just blocking up your creative channel, preventing you from doing things that could free you up to actually make a difference in the world.

So if you’re feeling guilty for doing something you want to do, here are some questions to ask yourself:

• What purpose is the guilt serving? Is it holding you back from doing something you actually want to do? Is it protecting you from hurting someone or being hurt by others?

• What could be the worst that would happen? If you actually did the thing you want to do, in spite of the guilt? Are we talking lives at stake here or just some angry folks shaking their heads silently?

• What could be the best that would happen? What would shift in your life/career/relationships/creativity if you took the leap and did this thing? Does it out-weigh the guilt?

Do some writing on these questions and see what comes out.

It might lead you to a very necessary conversation that’s been needing to be had, or maybe it will give you the clarity you need to take some step in the direction of your desires.

If at any point in the process you’re feeling stuck or need a boost, listen to this playlist and dance it out: Feel Free

Above all, get out of your head and make something.

The ability of the creative process to mirror and help work through the deeper issues of life is so incredibly amazing to me. One dance, one photograph, one essay, one song…. each has the ability to heal, transform, release, and clarify.

What will you make of it?

Please take a moment to out yourself with your guilt in the comment box below.

Airing your thoughts is another powerful way to move the icky stuff through you.

Freedom awaits.

on the train to guilt-free land,

Jess

p.s. next week I’ll be sharing more about something special I’m in the process of making, but in the meantime, I thought this video would make you laugh. I made it with my younger cousins last week, and it not-coincidentally fits into the theme of the day:

not every project has to be a production

Do you ever stop yourself from making something because it feels like too much of an undertaking?

Or because you want it to look really good and you’re waiting until you have enough funds or the right resources to make it happen?

For example, maybe you really want to produce a music video, but you don’t have contacts with bands and you only have a shitty camera, so you keep dreaming about it and tell yourself that once you get those things, THEN you can make it happen. In the meantime, you’re not working on much of anything else because you’re waiting for this to someday come together.

It’s all too easy to get paralyzed by bigger future visions and simultaneously shut off the creative process in the now.

If you’re thinking that way I have a new way of thinking for you to try on:

Don’t ignore your impulses. You can make and share projects on a whim, just because it’s fun, just because you’re inspired, just because you’re bored.

Now, don’t get me wrong - There are absolutely times when it’s appropriate to make big productions: to create full-length shows, to write novels, to paint murals, to produce music videos.

(I’m actually in the process with one of these productions now, creating my first dance show. This is completely new for me, as I’ve spent the last 5 years improvising my own dance videos on a shitty camera.)

Don’t give up on those bigger visions. They can totally happen.

The part that gets neglected, in my opinion, is the day-to-day creation process, using the basic resources you already have.

While you’re dreaming up your bigger productions, don’t shut off the little ways you can share your creative self-expression and just make stuff for the pure joy of it.

Especially for those of us with technical backgrounds and artistic training, it can feel scary to do something that is not of the highest caliber or hasn’t been rehearsed a million times.

That’s why I’m in love with a project my friend Denise is doing right now, called #danceinanemptyroom. It’s a great example of doing a project without making it into a big production.

I participated yesterday and got her to share a few words on camera afterwards, which you’ll hear below. We talk about getting over self-judgement, challenging the ego, discovering generosity through art, and passing on a chain of inspiration.

The whole experience took all of 20 minutes, and that included the interview I did with her. We shot the dance video on her iPhone in one take and uploaded it as it was to Facebook. Fun. Simple. Effective.

As a former professional dancer/choreographer who hasn’t been in the studio in 3 years, Denise said that this was a huge step for her - to put work out there that wasn’t polished or planned. But it has proven to be powerful. It’s caused a chain reaction of family and friends of hers who have joined in the dance-making experience, many of whom in the past would have never done something so bold.

Check out our chat and our dance video below, and then share your experience in the comments. I even dare you to make a dance video.

Are you regularly sharing your expressive self?

Or do you get caught up in the glitz and glamour of bigger production dreams that stop you from making stuff now?

Tell it all to me below. I want to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s all beautiful to me.

love to shitty cameras everywhere,

Jess

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