When the theater hands you lemons - i.e. losing your music track, leaving you on stage in silence for close to a minute and then playing the wrong track at the finale moment- you make improvised Flashdance lemonade.
In my case it involved asking them to stop the music and instead SINGING the lyrics to the song that went missing - "What A Feeling" - while I danced it, only to have the audience chime in with me and dance on stage.
(if you're short on time, skip to the 4:40 mark to see the music mishap moment)
The prequel to this story is how I started taking singing lessons with my friend Ruth Levy back in early February. I was gearing up to do more Broadway/musical theater auditions and wanted to attempt to learn how to sing. (It never was my strong point!)
The song we worked on?
"What A Feeling."
I ended up not getting far enough in the auditions to actually have to sing (thank goddess because I was terrified of it) but there was something powerful about learning the notes and the lyrics to this song I've danced to so many times, this song that had inspired me years ago to return to dance.
At that moment on stage when I realized this very song track was not going to be played, I knew I had to make it happen myself. It was already in me.
So I sang it. On stage for the first time ever. In front of 200 people.
My pitch and tone was way off for the most part, but I let it rip and had fun. And just when I started to lose my breath I heard my friend Jaclyn chime in from the audience, followed by everyone else belting it out with us.
We sang it as a group as I encouraged people from the audience onto stage to dance with me, as you can see in the video.
For whatever reason, it wasn't in the stars for me to win and move onto the finals, but what happened up there feels like a win in my book.
It reminds me, and I'll remind you -
You never know what you've actually been preparing for until that crazy moment happens. Keep preparing anyway.
Whatever kind of lemons are being thrown your way, your own flavor of lemonade is better than anything you could've planned for.
Dance with what you're given, and you may even discover a new facet of your voice along the way.
to dancing and singing it out,
Jess
p.s. The show must go on. I'm committed to finding another way of making it happen - on or off Broadway! Hope to see you at opening night.
p.p.s. Doors are now officially open to You Can Dance Again, my 4-week program designed to awaken your inner dancer and help you own your dance even more powerfully. I would love to welcome you into this experience! It starts on April 25th. Details and registration here.
In the midst of rehearsal last week (for NY’s Got Talent) with my dance partner Ben, we sat down to review a video of what we had just done.
After spending 4 weeks creating and refining this 4-minute dance piece, it was finally really coming together.
Ben said to me, “I think we have an act!”
I agreed and we both acknowledged how fun and soul-fulfilling the entire process had been.
“Do you think it will land with other people? Will they like it?” I asked.
After a beat, Ben said (as I thought the same thing to myself), “I don’t really care if they do or not.”
That about summed it up.
In that moment, we felt such immense gratitude for the magical creative process and how nourishing and inspiring it was, that it really didn’t matter what an outside judge thought. We were having so. much. fun. And that was enough.
Fast forward a week or so to this past Wednesday, roughly 2 hours before showtime.
This is me in a Periscope confessional, freaking out about how terrible I thought it was going to be:
I couldn’t shake the funk I was in. It was like my brain switched into the mode where everything sucks and it’s the end of the world because no one will understand what we are doing and it won’t fit in and I just feel so raw and exposed to be sharing something I created with the world in this way and blah blah.
Even though I intellectually knew that it was my inner critical voice talking, the despair still felt so real.
I felt this was worth mentioning here on the blog, because often you only get to see the final product of what artists are creating. It can be misleading to think that everybody who makes work or performs something is totally confident in what they’re doing and never has doubts.
From my perspective as a creativity coach, I’ve seen so many clients come to me who have been creatively paralyzed for YEARS because of these fears, sometimes not even realizing that it’s this very fear of being judged that is the thing holding them back from doing what they really want to do. (It’s more easy to blame it on the fact that work and life are just so busy and there’s no time anymore for creativity, am I right?!)
If I was in a workshop or a 1-1 session with you, I’d ask you more about your own creative dreams and take you through a process of identifying your fears and moving through them, but alas, this is a blog post, so I’ll continue with my story in hopes that it helps you out.
Here are the steps I took after the moments of heavy-duty doubting and despair -
(which I highly recommend for the next time you’re in a similar funk!)
We then launched into a run-through of the show with all the acts, which also helped immensely because I got out of my own narrow-minded view that it was all about me. I was in tears hearing my fellow contestants sing and juggle frisbees so beautifully.
And then the audience arrived, the show began, and it was finally our time to go on stage, the last act of the show. Once again, I had returned to that place of joy and we were ready to rock.
This is what happened:
I really had the time of my life.
I don’t know if there was ever a time where I felt more like myself on stage.
The cherry on top was getting to talk more about my mission and about the work I want to continue creating - not just for me, but for the dancers out there who are craving a space like this in which they can be themselves and dance their dance, too.
It all comes full circle.
So, the story is far from over. Semi-Finals are next week and I have to come up with a whole new act for that (and probably go through a similar process again of feeling like it’s crap and then getting judged with the risk that it might just be crap in their eyes).
In the bigger picture outside of this competition, the journey is just unfolding.
And here’s where you come in -
There is work to be done and dance opportunities to be created.
And I don’t want to go forward in it alone.
I want you to join me.
I want the dancers and creators who feel that calling deep down in their heart and soul, regardless of if you’ve had the courage yet to return to it.
I want the fears and the tears and the magical moments of surrender.
I want the DANCE. The kind of dance that moves you deeply.
Like I mentioned at the show, my You Can Dance Again program was created for this purpose. To bring re-emerging dancers together and provide a safe space for you to find your rhythm once again, explore your movement, collaborate and connect with amazing people, and create awesome things.
Even if you didn’t make the cut at that audition years ago,
Even if you stopped taking lessons because of more practical life events,
Even if someone once told you your body type was not “ideal” for dancing,
Doesn’t mean you can’t dance.
Oh.
You CAN dance again.
Believe me.
If you have that calling deep in your soul to dance,
If you also don’t want to go about it alone,
If you recognize the value in guidance from someone who’s been there,
I invite you into a special opportunity with me.
Today doors officially open to the next round of my You Can Dance Again program, and this year I sense it’s going to be the most powerful one yet.
It combines really meaningful inner exploration with pure joy and fun.
It’s about connecting to parts of you that have been hidden or yet undiscovered, and then making something with them.
It’s about dance. Your dance. The way YOU dance. The way you WANT to dance. The way you don’t even know you’re capable of dancing yet.
Before you click through to read all about it, a few things you should know:
If you register before this coming Monday night 4/11, you’ll save $100 on the cost of the program. It’s a special incentive because I wanted to make it easy for you to say yes and make space for dance NOW - not later, once you do the million other things on your to-do list.
There’s an option to participate in the virtual/online version as well as the in-person in NYC version. This means, it doesn’t matter where you live - this dance program is accessible to you.People in the virtual programs in the past have made huge steps in their dancing life because of the support and guidance given here.
This program in particular is for women and female-identified people (or those wanting to explore their feminine side). Not all of my dance programs are women-only, but this one is. If you’re a manly dude and you want to dance, my partner Ben might have something for you.
The scariest part - with any creative venture - is taking the first step. Once you commit, the ride begins and you realize that it was totally worth facing your fears because of the magic that comes from it.
Where are you thinking waaaaaay too much and trying to “figure it out” relentlessly?
Here's a suggestion -
Just give it some space.
The creative process and life and itself is not controlled by you.
Your only job is to be the vessel that allows it all to flow through.
If you’re feeling stuck, chances are it’s because your overthinking mind is in the way, making it all way too complicated.
Step away from the struggle.
Look up to the sky.
Make space in your body and in your life.
It really is that simple.
Truly and simply,
Jess
p.s. This post was inspired by the Dance Your Self class I led last night. I noticed myself quite nervous in the beginning, trying to figure out the best way to lead this group through the experience. Once I let go of those controlling thoughts, I was able to get back to the simplicity of the fact that opening up space for this dance experience was really what it was all about.
Making space for dance. People showing up to be in that space. Some gentle guidance and direction. That’s all. The less I try to control someone else’s experience, the more able they are to create their own experience.
Does this bring up anything for you?Feel free to share in the comment box below. I'd love to hear.
In follow up to last week’s post about how there’s nothing wrong with being busy, I wanted to take a moment to highlight the fact that there’s also nothing wrong with doing nothing.
It fits well into the theme I created for this month:
"and then she MARCHed forward, still anchored by the mystery"
As we transition into Spring here in the Northern Hemisphere, more light is here. More light is on its way. The days will continue to get longer until mid-June.
In a culture already over-saturated with lights and screens, we now also have more of the Sun to guide us into action.
This is your reminder to stay anchored in the mystery, the darkness, the deeper parts of you that might not want to see the light all the time.
All facets of your life, and especially your creative process, need to hang out in the unknown for periods of time.
You can’t always be productive. You can’t always be “a light.” You can’t always be in the active part of creation mode.
(Well, you can try, but you’ll probably just burn out. Like a light bulb left on for months at a time.)
Honor your busy modes and then honor your stillness. There’s a reason we need both of them to thrive.
Where are you on the busy-nothing / light-dark spectrum these days?
I’ve been noticing a trend that puts shame on being busy.
It seems like the world went from wearing “busy” like a badge of honor (which is not sustainable or healthy) to the other extreme of believing that we should all just be floating around in a zenlike state without a care in the world.
My facebook feed is flooded with advertisements from business gurus who tell me I can make $600,000 in the first month of my business - without any effort! while buying a second home in Hawaii with my family!
There’s an image being projected that the life of a creative business owner means sipping wine at an outdoor cafe and meditating with crystals on your lap all day.
It makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong if my schedule is really full with writing deadlines and meetings and rehearsals, most of which take place in my sweatpants and wild hair that hasn’t been washed in days.
“Oh, no - I’m neglecting my self-care. I’m busy! How much longer can I do this! This can’t be good!”
Stop right there, brain.
I’m going to take the stance - and feel free to join me - that being busy is ok.
Even as I say that, I’m still a huge believer in the value of downtime and in tuning into the cycles and seasons of creativity.
Here’s the thing -
Some parts of the cycle are actually just plain ol’ busy.
Let’s balance out the vision-boards with visceral action.
Let’s stop comparing ourselves to every other artist/entrepreneur/guru out there and instead just focus on our sacred work.
Let’s do the work and learn from it.
Let’s do the work and let it guide us to new openings and discoveries.
Let’s do the work and slowly, maybe without realizing it, we’ll build something bigger than ourselves.
to balanced busy-bodies everywhere,
Jess
p.s. One of the things I've been happily busy with is doing really fantastic work with other entrepreneurs and business owners in what I call "creative clarity sessions" - a mix of coaching to help you get your authentic voice out, plus the nitty gritty of actual forming it into powerful and effective copy for your website, blog, etc.
If you know you do powerful work, but can’t seem to communicate it into written words, or if you have something important to say but wish you had the time and gusto to actually get it out there, this is for you. I have limited spots open for this kind of work, and would be happy to share more details and see if it would be a good fit for you. Message me to request details.
p.p.s. For more thoughts on how to trust the cycles of ups and downs in our creative life and beyond, check out my interview on The Jake Sasseville Show here.
One scary part about putting yourself out there is that you might fail.
Another (even scarier part) is that you might succeed.
If you put your best work out there and do something really great and it happens to be well-received, then what?
→ More people will see you and hear you and potentially judge you.
→ People will expect more of you.
→ You may question whether or not you’ll ever create anything as good.
Pretty terrifying on all fronts, right?
Personally, I’ve felt these fears after every “good” blog post I’ve written or dance piece I’ve created.
“Oh sh*t. There it goes. My last good idea. People liked it...what the hell am I going to do next?!”
Or:
“That was just luck. I’ll never be able do another one.”
The only thing I can do in these moments (which happen over and over again, by the way) is to stop thinking about it and just keep writing, dancing and living my life. I keep showing up and I keep creating consistently, whether any of it is “good” or not.
Because here’s the thing -
We don’t control creativity.
We don’t control people’s reactions to what we make.
The only thing we have control over is our commitment to keep going and to keep making space for our creative process. That’s all.
There is no end goal. Sure, there are exciting and important milestones like the Oscars, the talent competition shows, the “big breaks,” - but none of those are the end. In many cases, they are just the beginning.
Your job is to structure your life so that it allows you to continue creating in a sustainable, nourishing way, and to keep practicing and putting yourself out there repeatedly.
Are you up for the job?
Tell me more about your process with success in the comments below.
AND -
Here’s a way to take it a step farther:
If you are an entrepreneur or artist (or aspiring entrepreneur or artist) who:
wants to bring more of your creative voice into your work
feels stuck or at a crossroads in your life and career
clings to fears that hold you back from creating the work you truly want to create
...I’m opening up 5 Creative Guidance Sessions in my calendar, on scholarship, specifically for you.
This is an opportunity to have a complimentary, no-strings-attached 30-minute phone call with me 1-1 in which we’ll talk more about exactly what you’re struggling with, what you desire to create in your life, and how I can help you get unstuck and get where you want to go. If it seems like any of my program offerings could serve you at this time, I’ll share more about them and how we can continue working together.
To apply for one of these 5 spots, simply email me a few sentences on what you’re struggling with and why it’s time for you to take action. (Bonus points if you also include how Creative Fridays has helped you!)
to your success and the process beyond it,
Jess
p.s. For those of you who have been keeping up with my New York’s Got Talent adventure, here’s the update:
I did not win the audience vote or judges vote in the first round, however, I got fantastic feedback from the judges and found out the next day that I was invited back to the Wild Card night! This is a another chance to perform and possibly move onto the semi-finals.
Here’s the recording of Wednesday’s performance with the judges feedback if you’re curious.
(And yes, today's article is totally relevant for me as I think about "What the hell am I going to perform next!?" The answer is to just get into the rehearsal studio and find out ;)
In the midst of rehearsal last week (for 
It combines really meaningful inner exploration with pure joy and fun.
